24. Storytime : a Sassy Sex Coach history

24. Storytime : a sassy sex coach ? 


Hello everyone. And welcome to another episode. If you're new here, welcome. And if you're not, I hope you'll like this too. And thanks to everyone for sharing your precious time with me 


Today is story time. Because this podcast is already six months old. And I noticed, I didn't actually tell you who the fuck am I. Apart from a sassy sex coach with shaky marketing skills. Because you know, doctors and marketing, and French people with marketing. So French doctor with marketing... help me, a love for metaphors, strong opinions about self-development cliches. Well, now that I think about it, you actually know a few things about me. But what I didn't tell you is how I arrived here. 


I always say, when I try to summarize my self-evolution for the past few years, that it started with an epilepsy diagnosis. Some people say "tough things are blessings in disguise". I wouldn't call it that way, but it was still a great teacher.




Imagine this... your perfect little girl. Pretty , smiling, nice, smart, kind. The archetype of the well raised French girl. Good grades, violin player in semi professional music school, not taking too much space, never angry. With only two major failures in her life :driving license exam () because you know, panicking on the road, isn't really something to do). And the second one being entry of med school -because you know, everyone says ""you're such a good student. There's no way you wouldn't it first shot." Nope, turned out I needed two shots, like almost everyone else. 


So you see the picture. Perfect little girl becoming a medical student. So first year is hard, because it is the hardest. So suck it up if you want to get in. I got in. And then on the first day of the second year, I'm learning there is another competition at the end of year 6. Between the 10% of us who entered med school. Okay. Didn't see that coming. Note for next lifetime, try to actually take a better look at the details of the studies you want to pursue, instead of following the general "first year is the hardest, and after that it's a piece of cake." When I look at it now, I'm like "luckily I didn't know that, I wouldn't have gone there if I had known." 


Years pass. Sixth year competition requires three years of preparation. It's hard. Suck it up. It will get better after it. Turns out it didn't . It's okay if you don't like it, you know, you're working in the office of someone else, so there's a bias. And here too. And here too. Isn't there something wrong here? Nah. It will get better after. Just suck it up. Hint : it didn't get better after. 


During residency, that's when things start to go wrong. Second semester : ER. 24 hours on duty, then classes in the next morning. Yup. You wake up around seven in the morning, one day and you get back to bed around 2:00 PM the day after. Inhuman? Clearly. Also illegal? Clearly. Somehow working laws don't apply to doctors. How convenient. If I'm really honest there: I kind of overdid it that weekend. 24 hours on duty from Friday to Saturday, then a ballet performance on Sunday, and then why not jump on a plane on Monday so that I can go see Demi Lovato in Paris, you know, because international singers only come to Paris. And a flight back on Tuesday morning, 


So on that Tuesday morning, I'm getting out of my car to get my tutu back to the shop where we rented them them from. And truth to be told, I don't remember anything. Just that I saw this sidewalk I was walking on, and then I'm on the floor. Cold, because it's raining. With paramedics siren coming, saying "Hey, we've been called for a seizure". WHAT ? 


And at the same time, I will still groggy. So I couldn't resist and they brought me to the hospital. Funny detail here, because this was my ER semester, every single public hospitals had residents as well. And... Not that I didn't want to go to the ER seeing my colleagues, but I didn't. So I literally asked the paramedics to bring me anywhere else than public hospital. Or maybe even home because, you know, I feel good. I remember this guy telling me, like "no, we've been called for a seizure, you are getting checked. We can bring you to the clinic if you want." I remember being so grumpy at that time, i was cold. my clothing were wet and I kept sneezing so hard. 


the time- Would it have been: 2020

Even if I worked at the university hospital, ER work usually the same. There are two parts: the ""small issues" part. Where people come for stitches, sprains and things like that. And the "serious part". When people get into the serious part, "they usually are on stretchers. So the nurse comes, pushes my stretcher there saying" I'll just put your here so that you can get on this bed, change and I'll be right back". I remember looking at the hospital paper blouse. It was a weird blue. The nurse comes back, and says "okay, I'll just get the blood test". She takes my hand. I hate when people do blood tests on my hands. It's painful and it's not very efficient. I'm actually not sure if she did it or not, I don't remember. Because what I do remember is waking up, asking my partner sleeping on his chair with his head supported by his crossed arm on my bed, "Haven't my parents arrived?" And he looks at me and says " They arrived and they left. It's seven in the morning". 


Turns out I had another seizure at that time. They put me on a specific drug because it was the second seizure in a few hours. I had a brain CT scan. Also, this is such a weird feeling when you get the results in your hand, and the picture, and you're like, "wow. This is the interior of my head". I also had a brain check, what we call EEG in the morning. And nothing to report. I learned that day that everyone in their life can have a seizure. It doesn't mean anything, especially it doesn't mean they have epilepsy. Sometimes people get seizure from alcohol or just from exhaustion. You remember the combo of my 24 hours of duty plus performance plus concert and things like that. So, yay. Nothing to report. I can have my life again. Minus the night duty. Everything's fine. 


Turns out, it was a little bit more complicated than that. Six months later, at the movies watching Nutcracker, headache. I remember awakening in the hallway and my first words being "eh merde". I understood that it was the second seizure, so that I would need treatment. And that medication will accompany me for the rest of my life. We're not the best friend in the world, but we work together. 


Taking a medication every day for the rest of my life helped me realize something. Turns out when you have the medication, you tend to forget it as a defense mechanism. Or, you know, just stop taking it because "screw you. I want to do things my way, you're useless." Hint, it didn't work. I remember this patient in the ER, who had a medical history of epilepsy and didn't take any treatment, telling me "I'm just smoking weed. Because when I smoke, I don't have seizures. And when I don't smoke, I have seizures. So no medication, weed is fine". I remember being so judging my head like "this guy is out of his mind. If anything happens when he's driving, he can do some damage to himself, but also to people coming in front of him on the other side of the road". Turns out when you

take the medication, you're less judgy. 


But most of all, I actually had to do some digging. Some self inquiry. Notice how my body was tired of being considered as a tool in service of my mind. Literally saying, "screw you... I'm switching you off, little brain". And that was the beginning of the second part of the story. 


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10:44 - From med student to sassy sex coach 


So the journey started... I had started yoga a few months before, because as an adult ballet beginner, I was as stiff as a stick and I needed to be more flexible. And one thing bringing another, I started to come home to my body again. Discovering meditation and mindfulness and its challenges. Trying to witness my brain always going full speed was an experience. Bringing more mobility to my body, more consciousness of my posture. Slowly starting to inhabit it again, instead of using it to fulfill whatever goal my mind had 


Along with that, like many of us, I went a hundred percent in self-development. And also other new age concepts that are interesting but tend to be... time and money consuming, let's put it this way. And truth to be told, a part of me is still unsure about all of this. Sometimes I believe in past lives. But I also know that to ease my mind, I need to tell myself that I don't, because it doesn't make sense. And also, if I understand the concept of "we are souls coming to experience the beauty of a human experience", a part of me still thinks it's something I can do because I'm a privileged Western woman with financial resources to consider this question. I may be wrong, but I'm not sure people in war places or in extreme poverty, have the opportunity to go on a journey of self-exploration to find their purpose and focus on their healing for months. 


So I started to have doubts. Combined with a few things that made me uncomfortable. Like "if writing abundance affirmations every morning, . I love money and money loves me. I love money and money loves me," we would all be millionaires. Don't we?" Or I also understood the concept of a morning ritual, it makes me feel amazing. But also, how do people with children and a full-time job do it? They cannot gift themselves an hour in the morning and at night because, you know, Life. 


A few things happened at the same time, these realizations and also getting hints about "maybe I should go and look around the sexual healing stuff". First, I actually realized there was something not so healthy of having orgasms only when my partner gave them to me. Even if I was lucky enough to have orgasms. And in my medical practice, practicing gynecology on a daily basis, I had so many women with sexual issues. I had no answer to. Pain during sex with normal exams. And part of me was like "I don't understand. I can't do anything. I have no answers to provide. That's not normal." And also this beautiful woman whispering "doctor, I think I'm broken. I've never had an orgasm". And she was 34. And also because I had no other answer than " go see a sexologist with six months of waiting time". And a part of me was like "there's something wrong. We cannot send three quarters of our patients to sexologist". So I started my research. 


First idea, go back to college and get the sexology diploma, so that I can call myself a sexologist. I looked at the syllabus and was like "First it's boring. And second, we are also going to medicalize this too? Sexuality becoming another problem to address. There has to be some other way". That's when I met my teacher, Layla Martin,, she's amazing. I tried her method with her membership and fell in love with it. And realized that's what I wanted to do . Because before medicalizing sex, let's talk first about what else we can do. Unpack the shame, the guilt, step on our feet and let go of patriarchal bullshit. Learn to explore ourselves and reclaim the pleasure. So I signed up for the coaching certification. With my mind saying with a disgusted voice "You're a doctor and now you want to be a coach." Just for context, apart from sports coaches, coaching is not really well received in France, especially around health. Because it's an unregulated field, you can really find anything in there. So, yeah, coaching isn't really well-regarded. And my brain was somehow buying this idea at the time. But what I do know is that I went through this 600 hours of training, which felt like a part-time job, so my brain went easy on me. I also perfected my skills as a coach. Brought my wisdom from being a doctor and my commitment to provide the safest space possible for my coachees.. Beacuse you know, healthcare 1 0 1 principle, do no harm. 


Trying my best to actually bring the best of both worlds with a zero bullshit tolerance. 


And after the certification comes the business building part. So getting right into my face "oh, you wanted to be a doctor? And have as a secondary benefit to stay away from work market and any type of marketing? Get all of that right into your face as a coach." Realizing also I was afraid to have coachees. I'm doing way better now. But also being always amazed to see how people benefit from coaching and what's available when you hit the right spot. The changes that can happen so quickly. Whereas in my medical practices, changes were slow and required a lot of exams to understand what was going on. 


And, surprisingly, during this journey I also felt I got closer to some kind of truth about me. This human experience and also kindness to my brain. Way more than I was devoted to many of my previous self development practices. And why is that? Because I finally started to let go of self hate. And move towards some kind of self-acceptance. And sometimes self tolerance, when I can't accept myself, let's be real and honest here. Nobody has totally figured out out self-acceptance. Because I also allowed myself to experience pleasure. Because I completed a lot of stress cycle. Because I'm healing my inner child. Because I'm exploring my body mind. But most of all, I came home. To my body, and to myself. And, this is priceless. And that's my mission as a sassy sex coach. So, if you want that, you know who to call. All the links are in the show notes. 


If you found this episode interesting, share it with your best friend,

because if they're your best friend, there's a good chance they might like it too. You can also download my free ebook essence, awaken your body to reclaim the pleasure to feel alive because it's full of easy practical steps that require no huge amount of time nor money to feel better. Thank you for sharing your time with me and remember. Being alive is sexy. I'll see you next time.