BONUS Episode : Interview with Alicia Lechuga (from Confident As f*ck)

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Hi everyone, and welcome to another episode of Your Sexified

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Life, in case we haven't met yet.

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I'm Fanny, your self-love and pleasure coach, and in this podcast we

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discuss what makes being alive, sexy.

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We reclaim our pleasure.

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We work on ourselves.

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We stop self-hate, and most of all, we take the commitment to feel alive

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and feel it all because we only have one life and it's time to live it.

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Welcome to your Sexify life.

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Hello, everyone.

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Welcome to another episode.

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If you're new here.

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Thank you for tuning in, and if you're not, thank you for coming back.

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Today, I have in store for you an episode which is a collaboration

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with the amazing Alicia Lechuga.

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She's the host of the "Confident as fuck" podcast, which I had

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the honor to be interviewed on.

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We had a really great time and I'm really excited to share

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with you this conversation.

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The main topic of this interview is basically what is this podcast about

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the pleasure of being alive.

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One request, stay with me because the stress actually made my

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English vanish at the beginning.

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If you want to laugh a little bit, that's really a good one.

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You know, practice makes perfect.

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So since this was one of first interviews, then I was super scared

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and we're going to laugh together.

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Enjoy.

Alicia: 00:01:22

Welcome back to Confident As Fuck.

Alicia: 00:01:24

We are here with a very special guest.

Alicia: 00:01:26

This is gonna be a spicy episode because we are here with Fanny.

Alicia: 00:01:30

And Fanny is a pleasure coach and she also is an orgasm fairy godmother.

Alicia: 00:01:36

Okay.

Alicia: 00:01:37

You heard it right.

Alicia: 00:01:37

An orgasm fairy godmother.

Alicia: 00:01:39

She is a doctor practicing medical genealogy on a daily basis and a skilled,

Alicia: 00:01:44

trained sex, love and relationship coach.

Alicia: 00:01:47

So I actually met Fanny through another.

Alicia: 00:01:50

Membership galas membership.

Alicia: 00:01:52

We were, gala does this thing at the end of her tapping Sunday what would

Alicia: 00:01:57

you call it, like Sunday meetings.

Alicia: 00:01:59

And at the end she throws people into like a room, like a group chat room.

Alicia: 00:02:04

And then you just get to meet different people and talk about

Alicia: 00:02:07

either the tapping or anything else.

Alicia: 00:02:09

And I really love that idea because it's how I met Fanny.

Alicia: 00:02:12

So we were thrown into a room with like three other people.

Alicia: 00:02:16

We got in there.

Alicia: 00:02:16

We started talking and I was like, I have to have you on the podcast

Alicia: 00:02:19

because her work seems so interesting and nothing like I've had on before.

Alicia: 00:02:22

So also in your bio you said that you combined the best of both worlds to

Alicia: 00:02:27

help women reclaim the thriving sex and fulfilling life they deserve.

Alicia: 00:02:32

And that is like one of the most juiciest sentences.

Alicia: 00:02:34

I'm like, yes.

Alicia: 00:02:35

Thriving sex and fulfilling life.

Alicia: 00:02:38

I love it.

Alicia: 00:02:39

So welcome everyone, Fanny to the podcast.

Fanny: 00:02:44

Thank you.

Fanny: 00:02:44

Thank you for Introduc for this intro.

Fanny: 00:02:46

Introduction.

Fanny: 00:02:47

Sorry, my English is vanishing because I'm stressed out and I'm really happy.

Fanny: 00:02:52

You like the thriving second sinful feeling life.

Fanny: 00:02:55

I really love that.

Alicia: 00:02:58

Yeah.

Alicia: 00:02:58

It's such a good it's such like a all-encompassing, you know?

Fanny: 00:03:03

Yeah.

Fanny: 00:03:04

And I truly believe that the fastest way to go to the fulfilling life you deserve

Fanny: 00:03:11

is through reclaiming your sexuality.

Fanny: 00:03:14

I don't know about you, but personally I've tried a lot of stuff.

Fanny: 00:03:17

I've tried yoga, I've tried meditating, and there was still something missing

Fanny: 00:03:22

until I met this new job that is mine now and that really fill all the blanks.

Fanny: 00:03:30

I arrived there because first on a very.

Fanny: 00:03:34

Basic and personal level.

Fanny: 00:03:37

I had an issue with my pleasure.

Fanny: 00:03:38

Like I didn't, I wasn't able to have an orgasm except when my partner was

Fanny: 00:03:43

giving it to me and it was like, okay, that's not the, I'm not, I'm sure

Fanny: 00:03:48

it's not supposed to look like that.

Fanny: 00:03:50

And I felt happy because I was able to have an orgasm.

Fanny: 00:03:53

So many women around me couldn't.

Fanny: 00:03:56

And so if there was a part of me then noticing in my gynecology

Fanny: 00:04:01

practice daily that my patients had issues, I had no answers to.

Fanny: 00:04:08

Because all the results were normal because the hormones were normal.

Fanny: 00:04:13

Because, because, because it was like, okay, I need to figure something.

Fanny: 00:04:18

I need to dig somewhere.

Fanny: 00:04:20

There's has to be something available.

Fanny: 00:04:24

And so one thing after another, I met this teacher of mine.

Fanny: 00:04:30

Her name is Lila Martin.

Fanny: 00:04:31

She's amazing.

Fanny: 00:04:32

And I became a sex loving relationship coach dedicated to help women,

Fanny: 00:04:38

people, and women reclaim the thriving sex and fulfilling life they

Alicia: 00:04:41

deserve.

Alicia: 00:04:42

Okay, we're gonna address the awkward thing in the room is that I pronounced

Alicia: 00:04:47

it genealogy instead of gynecology.

Alicia: 00:04:51

That's ok.

Alicia: 00:04:54

Which Genie genealogy doesn't make any sense, but Gynecology definitely does.

Alicia: 00:04:59

So we're gonna just pretend that that didn't happen.

Alicia: 00:05:02

So, okay.

Alicia: 00:05:05

So you were a gynecologist and so you said that people were coming in

Alicia: 00:05:09

asking you like questions in your practice, like women were asking

Alicia: 00:05:13

questions about their sex life.

Fanny: 00:05:16

So I need to point out that I'm not a gynecologist, I'm a family

Fanny: 00:05:19

doctor, but I've been trained with the GY, medical gynecologist, gynecologic

Fanny: 00:05:25

practices, so I can do anything the pap smears, the IUDs, everything.

Fanny: 00:05:29

But I don't have the title of a gynecologist just to put out

Fanny: 00:05:33

that on, to be crystal clear.

Fanny: 00:05:35

And yes, so I have.

Fanny: 00:05:38

When I see my patients for the like annual check-in, I always ask questions about

Fanny: 00:05:43

their sex life, if they have intercourse, yes or no, if they have pain, yes or no.

Fanny: 00:05:50

And it all started this way.

Fanny: 00:05:52

I had so many people having pain and I couldn't do anything, or I can, I

Fanny: 00:05:59

could just send them to a sexologist.

Fanny: 00:06:01

But they have six month of delay and I was like, I cannot, there's something

Fanny: 00:06:07

wrong and no, not everybody should go to see a medical doctor to ha because they

Fanny: 00:06:13

have a medical problem in their sexuality.

Fanny: 00:06:17

I was like, I need, I'm sure there is something else to do before that.

Fanny: 00:06:23

So, yes, that's why I started digging and noticing how many of my patients were not

Fanny: 00:06:30

able to experience pleasure at all, being stuck into the do do, do, do, do mode or

Fanny: 00:06:37

the perfect good girl or perfect mother, and seeing all of those people stuck into

Fanny: 00:06:44

autopilot the way, the way I was too.

Fanny: 00:06:48

It was really heartbreaking and at the same time really motivating.

Fanny: 00:06:52

Like, I do this for myself, but I also do this for all those women.

Fanny: 00:06:57

We're gonna change the world.

Alicia: 00:06:59

I love that so much.

Alicia: 00:07:00

So what other things could it be other than like a medical issue if you're

Alicia: 00:07:04

talking about things that people were experiencing when they would come to you.

Fanny: 00:07:10

I think the first thing and the most important is how the, the

Fanny: 00:07:15

patients I see, and I saw it in myself, is this feeling of being in on

Fanny: 00:07:20

autopilot, living your life with train.

Fanny: 00:07:24

You are in a train or either looking at the train that rains forward, that

Fanny: 00:07:28

rates this forward and you're like, I'm not even know what I'm doing.

Fanny: 00:07:31

I don't know what, where I'm going.

Fanny: 00:07:34

I have no idea what's going on.

Fanny: 00:07:35

I just know this is not, this is not something I can bear anymore.

Fanny: 00:07:41

And a lot of us have tried many things regarding that.

Fanny: 00:07:44

We've tried a lot of self-development, we've tried a lot of things, and we

Fanny: 00:07:49

end up feeling burned out because nothing works or seems to stick.

Fanny: 00:07:55

And that's what I love about the work we do as sex code, sex club

Fanny: 00:08:00

and relationship coaches, is that we can address the whole person.

Fanny: 00:08:05

So the sexual challenges that this person is experiencing whether it's

Fanny: 00:08:11

pain or lack of pleasure or anything, but noticing this lack of pleasure can

Fanny: 00:08:17

actually come and can be seen in your sex life, but just even in your whole life.

Fanny: 00:08:24

Because if you cannot experience pleasure and we are not really trained to look

Fanny: 00:08:29

for pleasure and are twisted game society actually reserves more: "Forget

Fanny: 00:08:35

yourself and don't feel pleasure at all".

Fanny: 00:08:37

If you don't feel pleasure, whether it's sexual or just sensual pleasure, then

Fanny: 00:08:43

you cannot numb yourself selectively.

Fanny: 00:08:46

If you don't feel pleasure, then you will end up feeling less and less.

Fanny: 00:08:51

And less and less and then knitting up and on autopilot.

Alicia: 00:08:56

Yeah, I completely agree.

Alicia: 00:08:58

I think it's all connected.

Alicia: 00:09:00

I have this saying or I say everything is everything, right?

Alicia: 00:09:03

So it's like, or we show how we show up one way, it's how we show up in a

Alicia: 00:09:06

lot, every other way, in my opinion.

Alicia: 00:09:09

So just like you're saying, like if you're not experiencing, you know,

Alicia: 00:09:13

love, connection or pleasure in any capacity, then you're not gonna be

Alicia: 00:09:18

able to turn it on different ways.

Alicia: 00:09:20

So how does someone know if they, other than just not experiencing

Alicia: 00:09:26

pleasure, how does someone know that they need your work?

Fanny: 00:09:32

I think before needing, it's more a question of wanting,

Fanny: 00:09:36

because I'm a firm believer that actually nobody needs a coach.

Fanny: 00:09:42

Or you can even go further and say, nobody needs therapy.

Fanny: 00:09:46

It's because you feel bad or you have a trauma that need to be

Fanny: 00:09:49

addressed, that you go to therapy.

Fanny: 00:09:52

And it's because there is something that doesn't feel good in where

Fanny: 00:09:57

you are and that you wish was different than you go to see a coach.

Fanny: 00:10:01

So I'm really not a fan of having people needing to meet me.

Fanny: 00:10:08

I prefer offering "Hey, where are you?

Fanny: 00:10:11

If you're there, I can help you go there and you figure out ,what the there is".

Fanny: 00:10:18

I'm really feeling something about: it's more a question of wanting more

Fanny: 00:10:23

than needing a coach or anything.

Fanny: 00:10:26

Any kind of support.

Fanny: 00:10:27

If you feel you don't like your sex life with what it is, if you yearn

Fanny: 00:10:33

for more because there's no way it can be or look like this, this

Fanny: 00:10:38

hollowness this 50 shades of gray, but not the good one types of thing.

Fanny: 00:10:44

This is where you can meet my work and we can work together.

Fanny: 00:10:49

So yeah, it's more

Alicia: 00:10:50

like that.

Alicia: 00:10:51

Yeah.

Alicia: 00:10:52

I love that approach because it's so, it takes all the pressure off of

Alicia: 00:10:56

having like this problem, like, we have this problem and where something's

Alicia: 00:11:02

wrong with us and we need to fix it.

Alicia: 00:11:04

Which I think is a huge thing that, I kind of took that into a

Alicia: 00:11:07

program I had as well because I have this whole program about healing

Alicia: 00:11:11

your relationship with food and.

Alicia: 00:11:14

I always felt like clients, especially when I was a personal trainer, clients

Alicia: 00:11:18

would come to me like, "oh, I just need to like, I need to fix this.

Alicia: 00:11:21

I need to like be better.

Alicia: 00:11:23

I need to stop being, you know bad on the weekends or whatever".

Alicia: 00:11:27

Like all those negative terms where I need to fix me.

Alicia: 00:11:30

There's something wrong with me, I need to fix it.

Alicia: 00:11:33

And I hated that feeling because it's like we just are like, we're humans.

Alicia: 00:11:38

There's nothing we need to fix, but improve maybe, but, or enhance, I

Alicia: 00:11:44

think is a better way to say it.

Alicia: 00:11:45

So I love that that is your approach.

Alicia: 00:11:47

Talk to us about your weekly fave.

Alicia: 00:11:51

Let's get that out of the way before we dive into deeper topics.

Fanny: 00:11:55

Can I consider a weekly fave that where I live, so in France, women are

Fanny: 00:12:01

actually getting, getting a day off when they are experiencing a miscarriage.

Alicia: 00:12:06

That's amazing.

Alicia: 00:12:07

Yeah.

Alicia: 00:12:07

That is amazing.

Alicia: 00:12:10

Yeah.

Alicia: 00:12:10

Thinking about having to go back to work the day after a miscarriage is very,

Alicia: 00:12:16

seems like how does that happen, right?

Alicia: 00:12:18

Like, how do we do, how do we get to that point where

Alicia: 00:12:21

we're, that's what we're doing.

Alicia: 00:12:23

And then did you feel, have anything that you felt confident in this week?

Alicia: 00:12:28

So a confidence piece.

Fanny: 00:12:31

Oh yes.

Fanny: 00:12:32

I recorded an episode of my podcast that is called "Do You Have an

Fanny: 00:12:36

SM Dungeon in your head too?"

Alicia: 00:12:39

okay.

Alicia: 00:12:39

Tell us what that's about.

Alicia: 00:12:40

What's an SM dungeon in your head?

Fanny: 00:12:43

I don't know about you, but in my head there are a lot of people.

Fanny: 00:12:47

There is my inner child that is like, "Hey, I do something right now there".

Fanny: 00:12:51

There is my inner teenager drama queen that says, "nobody can understand me.

Fanny: 00:12:56

I feel so alone right now".

Fanny: 00:12:59

I have a cop that says, "this is allowed, this is not allowed.

Fanny: 00:13:02

This is allowed.

Fanny: 00:13:03

This is not allowed".

Fanny: 00:13:04

I have a teacher who says, "this should have been done for yesterday.

Fanny: 00:13:08

Why are you not?"

Fanny: 00:13:10

I have like a fake domina saying, "no, you should do this.

Fanny: 00:13:15

If you're not doing it that way, then it will not work".

Fanny: 00:13:18

I have a therapist nodding her head, "well, you're such a lost cause.

Fanny: 00:13:24

Nobody will wants you.

Fanny: 00:13:26

I cannot do anything for you".

Fanny: 00:13:29

And I notice that all of those people, apart from the child and

Fanny: 00:13:33

the teenager, and I have many more are just like, There are playing a

Fanny: 00:13:38

symphony of making me feel like shit.

Fanny: 00:13:41

So like a crappy SM dungeon because a real SM dungeon is safe and full of

Fanny: 00:13:46

consent and safe words and everything.

Fanny: 00:13:49

But I was like, those people enjoy making me feel bad.

Fanny: 00:13:53

Hell no.

Fanny: 00:13:56

I have an SM dungeon in my head, so what can I do about it?

Fanny: 00:14:00

So that's what

Alicia: 00:14:01

I recorded.

Alicia: 00:14:02

Oh my God.

Alicia: 00:14:03

I'm gonna have to go listen to that episode.

Alicia: 00:14:05

So I'll link it for you guys down below because it sounds really interesting.

Alicia: 00:14:08

I definitely know what you mean about all those different, all those

Alicia: 00:14:12

different sides of our personality that are like in our head, talking

Alicia: 00:14:16

to us multiple different times a day.

Alicia: 00:14:18

And sometimes they're talking over each other.

Fanny: 00:14:21

The easy fix for the hijack, or the fastest way to just.

Fanny: 00:14:26

Find a little comfort in this, is to make them ridiculous.

Fanny: 00:14:31

Like imagining this teacher that has her hair tied up there is a window

Fanny: 00:14:35

and so she has her hair becoming like a witch from the fairy tale, you

Fanny: 00:14:39

know, like, Carabosse or whatever, or you know, fake domina, imagine her

Fanny: 00:14:44

within a baby pink outfit, instead of the black thing with baby vomit.

Fanny: 00:14:49

Then she will feel less scary.

Fanny: 00:14:53

The more ridiculous, the better.

Fanny: 00:14:55

There is a whole other things we can do with that, but having this hijack

Fanny: 00:14:59

of "I need to make them ridiculous to feel better" is really helpful.

Alicia: 00:15:03

Yeah.

Alicia: 00:15:03

That's kind of like picturing, you know, everybody in the audience and their

Alicia: 00:15:07

underwear when you're making a speech type of thing, like make it, yeah.

Alicia: 00:15:10

Definitely ridiculous.

Alicia: 00:15:13

Yeah.

Alicia: 00:15:14

I love that.

Alicia: 00:15:15

so when people come to you and you start to uncover like these things about their

Alicia: 00:15:21

work, what is, what type of changes do they have not only in their sex life

Alicia: 00:15:25

but in their, day-to-day life as well?

Fanny: 00:15:30

The feeling of feeling alive.

Fanny: 00:15:33

That's the most important feedback I get from my coachees, is the sensations of

Fanny: 00:15:40

living the life they are supposed to live.

Fanny: 00:15:43

And living your life actually requires you to live it all.

Fanny: 00:15:48

So you live the pain, you live in the anger, you live the sadness,

Fanny: 00:15:53

it's actually reclaiming the whole palette of who they are.

Fanny: 00:15:59

That is the most important feedback I'm getting because when you have

Fanny: 00:16:03

that, then you are not numb anymore.

Fanny: 00:16:05

And when you are not numb anymore, then your sex life improves.

Fanny: 00:16:10

There is this part, and there is also the part of helping women getting

Fanny: 00:16:15

their first orgasm or getting more amazing orgasms because there is a

Fanny: 00:16:21

whole orgasm buffet in our bodies.

Fanny: 00:16:24

And even if a magazines say there are seven to eight types of orgasms, I

Fanny: 00:16:30

would argue there are so many more.

Fanny: 00:16:33

You can have an orgasm from your throat.

Fanny: 00:16:35

You can have an orgasm from your brain, you can have an orgasm from your cervix.

Fanny: 00:16:40

And turns out an orgasm can be an, it works for pleasure too, an orgasm can be

Fanny: 00:16:46

an explosion or it could be very intimate and inside liberation of pleasure.

Fanny: 00:16:53

Or it can be a luscious and luxury feeling of release more

Fanny: 00:16:59

than a Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fanny: 00:17:00

Like every porn movie, bad porn, we can see.

Alicia: 00:17:07

So when you're talking about orgasms, are you talking only sexual

Alicia: 00:17:10

orgasms or you're saying, cuz it sounds like what you're talking about is also

Alicia: 00:17:13

like orgasms of like the mind and like ideas and like fully, like you were

Alicia: 00:17:18

saying, fully experiencing life itself.

Fanny: 00:17:23

I love to say it to, to call this lifegasm.

Fanny: 00:17:27

Actually finding back the pleasure of being alive is a great part, a big

Fanny: 00:17:33

part of what I do, because I've been stuck in autopilot for a long time too.

Fanny: 00:17:38

Just wondering "is that it?

Fanny: 00:17:41

Did I sign up for this and have this?"

Fanny: 00:17:45

I'm also really amazed by how our emotions can be a source of orgasm too.

Fanny: 00:17:52

You can have angergasm.

Fanny: 00:17:54

This is one of the best .You can have sadgasm.

Fanny: 00:17:58

I didn't have that before, but you can have disgustgasm enjoying the fun, the

Fanny: 00:18:06

kind of the kink, existential kink of these emotions helping you have orgasms.

Fanny: 00:18:13

It's definitely this feeling of the pleasure to be alive.

Fanny: 00:18:20

And one of the easiest access to that is reclaim your sexual

Fanny: 00:18:24

pleasure and your sexual

Alicia: 00:18:25

power.

Alicia: 00:18:28

How does someone know if they have, don't have their sexual power?

Alicia: 00:18:32

Maybe it's hidden or maybe it's like less than what they want.

Fanny: 00:18:38

I would see several things here.

Fanny: 00:18:40

First, I would like to acknowledge how personal to each person it is.

Fanny: 00:18:45

It's not because you see yourself in what I will just share that you have

Fanny: 00:18:50

no connection to your sexual power, as I always like to say, you're not

Fanny: 00:18:55

broken, you're perfect just as you are.

Fanny: 00:19:00

The first thing that comes to my mind is how mobile is your body.

Fanny: 00:19:06

If you picture two persons, one that is connected to her sexual power,

Fanny: 00:19:11

to the pleasure of being alive and one that is totally dissociated.

Fanny: 00:19:16

If you picture those two people, personally I see the dissociated

Fanny: 00:19:20

one as stiff and rigid, whereas one who's connected have more

Fanny: 00:19:25

range of movement is more grounded.

Fanny: 00:19:28

So there is this feeling first of how mobile the body is.

Fanny: 00:19:36

And that has like perfect explanations because when you have issues or

Fanny: 00:19:42

challenges in your sexuality, there are tensions that are stored into our bodies.

Fanny: 00:19:47

And those tensions, they are literally maintaining us stiff.

Fanny: 00:19:52

So there's this.

Fanny: 00:19:54

I would say it's easy to see the absence of connection to your

Fanny: 00:19:59

sexuality and sexual power because you don't experience pleasure.

Fanny: 00:20:03

Definitely.

Fanny: 00:20:04

There's this, it may be tricky because if you live your life on autopilot, you

Fanny: 00:20:10

may say "I have an amazing sex life.

Fanny: 00:20:12

Thank you".

Fanny: 00:20:13

And if that's the case, great.

Fanny: 00:20:15

Good for you.

Fanny: 00:20:16

I do wanna point out a lot of us have been there and also have noticed that

Fanny: 00:20:21

this feeling of connection is superficial.

Fanny: 00:20:25

And there's nothing wrong with that if that's what you like at

Fanny: 00:20:27

the moment and what feels good.

Fanny: 00:20:30

Again, there is nothing wrong with you.

Fanny: 00:20:33

I would say you the pleasure.

Fanny: 00:20:34

What else?

Fanny: 00:20:37

The letting yourself down, like abandoning yourself.

Fanny: 00:20:43

And what's tricky there is that so many of us are trained to, you know, surrender

Fanny: 00:20:51

or give it to the universe, which is great and really helpful, but just don't

Fanny: 00:20:56

mix surrender and abandoning yourself.

Fanny: 00:21:00

So this feeling of things being hollow.

Fanny: 00:21:05

No goal just living your day, day in and day out, in shades of gray.

Fanny: 00:21:12

And more importantly, not feeling anything.

Fanny: 00:21:16

Wondering "I have everything.

Fanny: 00:21:19

What is wrong with me?

Fanny: 00:21:20

I have everything.

Fanny: 00:21:21

I'm supposed to be happy.

Fanny: 00:21:22

Why am I not happy?"

Fanny: 00:21:24

I call that the auto pilot, and in my opinion, the autopilot comes from sexual

Alicia: 00:21:30

disconnection.

Alicia: 00:21:33

Wow, that is so powerful.

Alicia: 00:21:35

I feel like when I went to acupuncture probably around three years ago

Alicia: 00:21:40

now, I was having issues with my shoulder when I would work out, and

Alicia: 00:21:45

I've always been into working out.

Alicia: 00:21:47

And, I would describe myself at that time as a very stiff person.

Alicia: 00:21:52

I never got a massage or anything like that before, before that

Alicia: 00:21:55

because, I couldn't release tension in my body at all.

Alicia: 00:22:00

I couldn't have anybody else in control.

Alicia: 00:22:03

And, , when I got acupuncture, he said to me the first time

Alicia: 00:22:08

that issues are in the tissues.

Alicia: 00:22:10

And I love that saying because it's exactly what you were describing,

Alicia: 00:22:14

right, is that our body stores that, and if you've ever heard, read

Alicia: 00:22:17

the book, the Body Keeps Score, it talks about that as well, right?

Alicia: 00:22:22

That we store things in our body.

Alicia: 00:22:25

And I see it now.

Alicia: 00:22:27

I never saw it before in myself.

Alicia: 00:22:31

Even though maybe I did and I didn't wanna recognize it, but now like you're

Alicia: 00:22:34

saying, you can see it really easily in other people, like stiff, anxious,

Alicia: 00:22:39

like very immobile like you said.

Alicia: 00:22:41

I really love that, that scenario that you pointed out.

Alicia: 00:22:44

And I think the other thing I wanna talk about is how you know when you

Alicia: 00:22:51

are like going through this autopilot.

Alicia: 00:22:54

I feel like now I'm not on the autopilot, but it's very easy for me

Alicia: 00:23:00

to want to go back to that autopilot.

Alicia: 00:23:01

But before I was on an autopilot, and I know the exact feeling of

Alicia: 00:23:07

what you're saying is like, I have all these things, right?

Alicia: 00:23:10

I have a man who loves me, I have dogs, we have a beautiful home.

Alicia: 00:23:13

Like, you know, we're living our dream, creating our business.

Alicia: 00:23:16

But why do I still feel empty?

Alicia: 00:23:21

And I remember that when I was at a really low point and I didn't really,

Alicia: 00:23:26

like, I shouldn't have been at a low point because I have all these things,

Alicia: 00:23:29

but I kept, I would say when I would get angry oh my God, I just hate my life.

Alicia: 00:23:35

And I started to realize, like once I started to get more into like work

Alicia: 00:23:39

and stuff like that, this was even before I was like doing any type of

Alicia: 00:23:42

the work I do now, no self-growth yet.

Alicia: 00:23:44

I remember thinking like, "why am I saying that?"

Alicia: 00:23:48

Like, I don't, I don't hate my life, but why do, is does that keep coming to mind?

Alicia: 00:23:54

And that was probably like the first realization I had where

Alicia: 00:23:57

I was like "something is off.

Alicia: 00:23:59

Like something is off here".

Alicia: 00:24:01

And because I, I love the life that I've created, but something feels

Alicia: 00:24:06

off and yeah, it can be very like hard to recognize that in yourself.

Alicia: 00:24:13

So do you have any like tips that you can give someone who thinks like "oh

Alicia: 00:24:18

my God, I can kind of relate to that.

Alicia: 00:24:19

Or maybe I am living on a autopilot, I'm just going through the motions,

Alicia: 00:24:24

like I have a sex life with my husband, or significant other or

Alicia: 00:24:27

partner, but maybe I am on autopilot".

Fanny: 00:24:32

I would love just to add something with what you just shared.

Fanny: 00:24:35

I had the same about I hate my life.

Fanny: 00:24:38

I also had, I hate myself.

Fanny: 00:24:40

Mm.

Fanny: 00:24:41

Really writing.

Fanny: 00:24:42

I hate myself.

Fanny: 00:24:45

Hint, when there is that, there's dissociation and disconnection

Fanny: 00:24:49

from your sexual power.

Fanny: 00:24:50

I'm sure many people in your audience can relate to that.

Fanny: 00:24:55

I think the fastest way to step out of autopilot is

Fanny: 00:25:01

coming back home to your body.

Fanny: 00:25:03

And there are several practices to do so.

Fanny: 00:25:07

You also need to be aware that coming home to your body will require feeling,

Fanny: 00:25:12

will require feeling anger that have been sitting there for a long time,

Fanny: 00:25:19

feeling the sadness of the things you wished you had done and didn't do.

Fanny: 00:25:24

There is a beautiful thing about that is written in that book: the Body keeps

Fanny: 00:25:28

the core about how we need to feel the sensations, and not the story.

Fanny: 00:25:33

So first, knowing that and being aware that you are embarking on a wild ride.

Fanny: 00:25:39

And as many of us may feel sometimes, Gosh, it was simpler when I was

Fanny: 00:25:45

sleeping, when I was on a autopilot.

Fanny: 00:25:47

It was way simpler.

Fanny: 00:25:49

I felt like crap, but it was simpler.

Fanny: 00:25:53

So when you are stuck in this autopilot, first I see you.

Fanny: 00:25:59

Then there are different types of exercises that some are exercises

Fanny: 00:26:06

or practices that can help you.

Fanny: 00:26:08

For example, my two favorites are breast massage and yoni egg

Fanny: 00:26:14

These tools are just amazing because they rebuilt the connection between

Fanny: 00:26:20

your body and your nervous system.

Fanny: 00:26:22

When I say build the reconnection, it's never lost, but like

Fanny: 00:26:25

awaken this reconnection.

Fanny: 00:26:28

We have so much approach available, what we call bottom to top.

Fanny: 00:26:33

So you know, you want to try to add a new habit or change something in your life.

Fanny: 00:26:38

And for most of us, it doesn't stick, like you cannot add rocks to a glass

Fanny: 00:26:44

that is already filled with water.

Fanny: 00:26:46

It doesn't work that way.

Fanny: 00:26:47

Whereas when you go to the body and release the tension, then you

Fanny: 00:26:52

have the space to create something.

Fanny: 00:26:54

These are called the bottom to top approach and there are so many of them.

Fanny: 00:27:00

The easiest, air quotes, is to get to self pleasure.

Fanny: 00:27:05

And also acknowledge that for many of us, self pleasuring isn't

Fanny: 00:27:08

accessible at the beginning.

Fanny: 00:27:10

Because just thinking about our pussies or yonis is making us throw

Fanny: 00:27:16

up .Or we cannot even look at them or we feel they're dirty, or that

Fanny: 00:27:21

we don't deserve self pleasuring.

Fanny: 00:27:23

Like there is this whole media society problem around that too.

Fanny: 00:27:30

So if that's not available, there are tools that you can

Fanny: 00:27:34

use to go a little bit slower.

Fanny: 00:27:38

And my two favorites are breath massage and uni egg, as I

Fanny: 00:27:42

mentioned at the beginning.

Fanny: 00:27:43

Breast massage because you build the connection with your hands

Fanny: 00:27:48

and your breasts, which are an erogenous zone, but are not as

Fanny: 00:27:53

charged as your genitals can be.

Fanny: 00:27:56

And you also may be surprised how much we have store in our breasts too, whether

Fanny: 00:28:02

it's constant criticizing because of their size or, you know, we have too

Fanny: 00:28:07

much or not, not enough, or you have the male gaze that is, always looking

Fanny: 00:28:13

in them and having an opinion on them.

Fanny: 00:28:15

There might be some stuff around maybe getting your first bra or, you know, when

Fanny: 00:28:19

you go to those shops and they're like ugly and okay, so they are just pointing

Fanny: 00:28:25

out and let me grab them and press them so that we don't see them anymore.

Fanny: 00:28:30

There is all of that that is stored.

Fanny: 00:28:32

And using breast massage at first, is a way to notice that you are actually

Fanny: 00:28:37

able to feel that and heal from that.

Fanny: 00:28:40

This is building the safety in your nervous system to the

Fanny: 00:28:45

true base of your healing.

Fanny: 00:28:48

Because you don't wanna throw your nervous system into a survival mode

Fanny: 00:28:51

because you're draining all the emotions at the same time, you're

Fanny: 00:28:54

gonna freeze and it's not gonna work.

Fanny: 00:28:57

You didn't learn to ride a bike before learning how to walk.

Fanny: 00:29:00

So we need to walk first and what I love for us to do by learning how to

Fanny: 00:29:06

walk his press, massage and yoni egg.

Fanny: 00:29:09

Yoni egg is my favorite tool ever, first because some of us are

Fanny: 00:29:16

not really attracted to penises.

Fanny: 00:29:19

I needed to point it that out.

Fanny: 00:29:21

And what I love about Uni Egg is at first it is a tool that helps you come

Fanny: 00:29:27

play with a tool without the penis charge, and it helps with the dearmoring.

Fanny: 00:29:33

So because it's an egg that you insert in your vagina, if that's available,

Fanny: 00:29:39

and if it's not, you just put it in the entrance and release the tensions.

Fanny: 00:29:44

When you release those tensions, when you de armor, then you make

Fanny: 00:29:47

some space inside of yourself.

Fanny: 00:29:49

So when you make some space inside of yourself, then you feel more alive,

Fanny: 00:29:55

you have more space available, more range of movement, and there is this

Fanny: 00:29:59

virtous circle that is getting in place.

Fanny: 00:30:04

The beauty of the yoni egg is how it is a versatile tool because in the

Fanny: 00:30:10

mainstream it's really advertised as "use a yoni egg to do your Keghels".

Fanny: 00:30:16

Whereas there is this whole part about the yi egg that is just about

Fanny: 00:30:21

helping you resensitize your body, helping you release the tensions.

Fanny: 00:30:26

We have so much to do before strengthening our pelvic floor.

Fanny: 00:30:32

So yeah, breast massage and addressing your pelvic health through yoni egg are

Fanny: 00:30:39

the best tools in my opinion to start.

Alicia: 00:30:43

I love the talk about the yoni egg, and I think you are

Alicia: 00:30:47

launching your own yoni egg, right?

Alicia: 00:30:50

A crystal egg, is that right?

Fanny: 00:30:52

Yeah.

Fanny: 00:30:52

I love to use the word yoi egg or crystal egg, although I tend to use jade egg as an

Fanny: 00:30:57

automatic response that's still happening.

Fanny: 00:31:01

But yeah, I am building this one-on-one coaching program to work with the

Fanny: 00:31:06

yoni egg because there is amazing stuff on the internet and there is

Fanny: 00:31:10

a lot of bullshit, a lot of crap.

Fanny: 00:31:13

And what I believe is in self practices with guided audios are amazing.

Fanny: 00:31:21

I have them too, and it's really, really efficient.

Fanny: 00:31:25

I also believe in the value of having one-on-one coaching because the

Fanny: 00:31:30

coach can help you deal with whatever comes up with any emotion that

Fanny: 00:31:34

comes up or adapt the pace to your healing to what you are experiencing.

Fanny: 00:31:39

And I truly believe the beauty of mixing jade egg guided sessions

Fanny: 00:31:44

and coaching sessions to en enhance really the, the start of the healing.

Fanny: 00:31:50

So yeah, I'm really excited for this, this offer.

Alicia: 00:31:54

Yeah.

Alicia: 00:31:54

That is super exciting.

Alicia: 00:31:56

I don't know much about the yoni egg, but then when you had it on

Alicia: 00:32:00

your questionnaire, I was like, oh, I can't wait to talk about this.

Alicia: 00:32:03

And you said something earlier, I wanna go back to, you said something about

Alicia: 00:32:06

the I can't remember exactly what the two words were, but you said we have to

Alicia: 00:32:12

look at the something versus the story, the story that we're telling ourselves.

Alicia: 00:32:18

Can you remind us of that and can you expand on it?

Alicia: 00:32:21

Sure.

Fanny: 00:32:22

It comes with the, with what emotions are.

Fanny: 00:32:26

And emotions are just sensations.

Fanny: 00:32:28

There is a great book that is called How Emotions Are Made.

Fanny: 00:32:32

I don't have the author right now, but she starts her book with something amazing.

Fanny: 00:32:37

She was asked out by a guy and she was like, "eh, maybe"

Fanny: 00:32:42

she went out on that date.

Fanny: 00:32:44

And during that date she had, her heart was pounding, she had things in

Fanny: 00:32:49

her stomach and tinglings, and she was like "okay, maybe I am into that guy".

Fanny: 00:32:54

Then she went home and she was sick with the flu for one week.

Fanny: 00:32:58

So noticing that sensations are just informations that

Fanny: 00:33:03

our brains give meaning to.

Fanny: 00:33:07

So a pounding heart rate can be from anger, but also can be

Fanny: 00:33:11

from fear or a lot of things.

Fanny: 00:33:13

So that being said, when I talk about emotion, after an

Fanny: 00:33:18

emotion, there is a story.

Fanny: 00:33:20

There is this situation going with this person.

Fanny: 00:33:23

And when you think about it, you get into a story mode and you

Fanny: 00:33:27

relive the story and you relive the story and you relive the story.

Fanny: 00:33:32

Whereas what's truly needed to heal is feeling the sensations.

Fanny: 00:33:37

So feeling the heart rate, feeling the need to run, feeling the need

Fanny: 00:33:43

to scream, for example, instead of getting into the story that that's what

Fanny: 00:33:48

happened at the same time, blah, blah, and interestingly it's good to know

Fanny: 00:33:52

that these sensations, when you just stick with them as sensations, they

Fanny: 00:33:57

last only one minute and a half max.

Fanny: 00:34:01

And usually it's like way less than one minute.

Fanny: 00:34:05

So if an emotion stays longer than one minute and a half, it's because

Fanny: 00:34:10

we have put the story with it.

Fanny: 00:34:14

Why am why am I telling you all of this is we know that to heal,

Fanny: 00:34:19

we need to feel the sensations.

Fanny: 00:34:21

So if you have this anger coming up because there was the situation with

Fanny: 00:34:25

that man, for example, a boss that yelled at you some kind of crap or anything,

Fanny: 00:34:31

right now your body needs to feel it.

Fanny: 00:34:33

And you need to do what we re, what we call release the stress cycle.

Fanny: 00:34:37

So at the moment what you would have needed would have been to

Fanny: 00:34:40

run far away from that jerk.

Fanny: 00:34:42

So run on the spot or just move slowly and imagine you're running

Fanny: 00:34:47

twice as fast in your head.

Fanny: 00:34:49

This is release the sensation and releasing the sensations doesn't

Fanny: 00:34:53

mean you have to live the story.

Fanny: 00:34:55

You don't have to go to the situation when that guy was a

Fanny: 00:34:59

jerk and said all of this to you.

Fanny: 00:35:02

Nobody will ever tell you that reliving your trauma will help you feel better.

Fanny: 00:35:06

Never, ever, ever.

Fanny: 00:35:09

So it's really connecting the dots as I am draining.

Fanny: 00:35:14

I'm releasing the sensations by completing the stress cycle, by honoring

Fanny: 00:35:18

my body impulses, my body needs instead of getting into our story again.

Alicia: 00:35:28

Yeah, I really like that because the reason I like I heard that and I

Alicia: 00:35:32

got like a little ping, I put like a little post-it up in my brain because...

Alicia: 00:35:37

The stories I think is the biggest thing that I learned when I took this

Alicia: 00:35:41

course about sabotage and learned about these stories that we tell ourselves

Alicia: 00:35:46

and how we have this core belief and then we have stories that we look

Alicia: 00:35:50

for those certain stories, and we look for certain elements in that story

Alicia: 00:35:54

to support that belief about ourself.

Alicia: 00:35:56

And so I'm really, really fascinated about these stories that we tell ourselves.

Alicia: 00:36:03

And these stories that you're saying now, that we also attach to

Alicia: 00:36:06

emotion and sensations that we feel.

Alicia: 00:36:09

And it's interesting.

Alicia: 00:36:10

So I was, so this is gonna be a little bit of a side note into another

Alicia: 00:36:17

topic, but over the last few, months, my husband and I have been like

Alicia: 00:36:22

experimenting with taking mushrooms.

Alicia: 00:36:25

So we're taking like micro doses.

Alicia: 00:36:28

And when we did it the first time, everything was fine, like had a great

Alicia: 00:36:33

time, high emotions, everything's good.

Alicia: 00:36:37

Second time I guess we took a different type of mushroom I still felt fine.

Alicia: 00:36:41

I did not have, like a anxious feeling or a sad feeling or

Alicia: 00:36:46

any major emotions come up.

Alicia: 00:36:49

But what I did notice, and my friend pointed this out when he was with us,

Alicia: 00:36:54

is both times that we took this certain type of mushroom, I needed to, I kept

Alicia: 00:36:59

feeling like I need to get fresh air.

Alicia: 00:37:01

And it wasn't like a normal feeling of anxiety, because I've had these

Alicia: 00:37:05

before, where I'm like, okay, like I need to exit this situation, like, I'm

Alicia: 00:37:09

feeling uncomfortable or this is too much for me, like, I'm overwhelmed,

Alicia: 00:37:13

my nervous system is overwhelmed.

Alicia: 00:37:14

I need to get out.

Alicia: 00:37:15

But I was still taking that same path.

Alicia: 00:37:17

Like I left the restaurant for a second just to get fresh air.

Alicia: 00:37:20

I was like, Hey, I just feel hot.

Alicia: 00:37:21

Like I'm gonna go outside.

Alicia: 00:37:22

I need some fresh air.

Alicia: 00:37:23

But no emotions were attached to that feeling is what I was feeling.

Alicia: 00:37:28

And same thing.

Alicia: 00:37:29

I was like, we, we were maybe gonna go out somewhere later or somewhere

Alicia: 00:37:33

after this restaurant, and I didn't really want to, I wanted to go home.

Alicia: 00:37:38

I wanted to be in my own house, but not for the same reason that normally I would

Alicia: 00:37:42

want to, right, didn't have that anxiety.

Alicia: 00:37:45

And so my friend was telling me who's more experienced with mushrooms and

Alicia: 00:37:49

with emotions in regards to mushrooms.

Alicia: 00:37:50

He was saying you have this neuro pathway that your brain takes, once you

Alicia: 00:37:55

start to get certain feelings come up.

Alicia: 00:37:58

Like if you're having that feeling of anxiety, your brain recognizes it, and

Alicia: 00:38:02

wants to take that specific path that you always take, which was very true.

Alicia: 00:38:06

And I was telling him like, yeah, but I don't feel anxious.

Alicia: 00:38:09

Like I don't feel like there's nothing to be anxious about.

Alicia: 00:38:12

Which is really weird for me to even say, but I didn't feel the normal anxiousness,

Alicia: 00:38:17

but my body still wanted to take that.

Alicia: 00:38:19

And he was like, yeah, it's because whatever emotion that is coming

Alicia: 00:38:23

for you is associated usually for you with anxiety and your body is

Alicia: 00:38:29

trying to take you on that same path.

Alicia: 00:38:31

So it was just so interesting to me that even though it felt totally different,

Alicia: 00:38:35

my body, like we were talking about the body, feeling these sensations, like

Alicia: 00:38:39

my body still wanted that normal escape route of "I gotta get outta here.

Alicia: 00:38:44

I gotta remove myself from this situation.

Alicia: 00:38:46

I need fresh air.

Alicia: 00:38:47

I need to be only at my house."

Alicia: 00:38:49

You know, it was just so interesting.

Alicia: 00:38:50

So I think there really is something with our body neuro

Alicia: 00:38:53

pathways and also sensations and the stories that we tell ourselves.

Alicia: 00:38:58

So even though I've worked through a lot of those stories, your body

Alicia: 00:39:02

still has that pathway that it can easily wanna go down at all times.

Fanny: 00:39:09

I would love to add something to this.

Fanny: 00:39:11

Go ahead.

Fanny: 00:39:12

How actually, the autopilot mode is also a way of neurons wiring together,

Fanny: 00:39:19

firing together, because when you feel overwhelmed by the anger that you have

Fanny: 00:39:25

been repressing for years, then your body's like, Ooh, freeze not moving.

Fanny: 00:39:30

And when there is another emotion, freeze, not moving, and

Fanny: 00:39:35

then another whoop not moving.

Fanny: 00:39:37

This is the classic entry neurons wiring together, firing together.

Fanny: 00:39:44

When you have associated a lot of things with anxiety, then

Fanny: 00:39:48

every big emotion becomes anxiety

Alicia: 00:39:53

yeah, yeah.

Alicia: 00:39:54

It's so interesting because I, as I was sitting there thinking " what

Alicia: 00:39:57

emotions am I actually feeling?"

Alicia: 00:39:59

had the emotion where usually when I would have big emotional outbursts before.

Alicia: 00:40:06

Before I worked through a lot of stuff, my emotional default, I guess,

Alicia: 00:40:11

would be like anger and crying, right?

Alicia: 00:40:15

So even though in this situation I wasn't angry and I also wasn't

Alicia: 00:40:19

sad, I wasn't, didn't really feel, I don't know what emotion I felt.

Alicia: 00:40:23

I actually would love to take the same mushroom again and try to figure

Alicia: 00:40:26

out what the fuck emotion it was.

Alicia: 00:40:28

But my body wanted to cry.

Alicia: 00:40:30

It was so weird.

Alicia: 00:40:31

I was like, I wonder what emotion this is.

Alicia: 00:40:35

But maybe as I'm thinking about it, I'm like, maybe it's overwhelm.

Alicia: 00:40:38

Maybe it's just lot of emotions coming up.

Alicia: 00:40:40

But my body had that feeling when you get in your chest and you're like,

Alicia: 00:40:44

okay, I wanna like "I wanna cry".

Alicia: 00:40:46

But I wasn't sad.

Alicia: 00:40:47

So it was just interesting like, Maybe like those same default

Alicia: 00:40:50

emotions we're trying to come forward.

Alicia: 00:40:53

So yeah.

Alicia: 00:40:54

I love that you said that autopilot of like staying like,

Alicia: 00:40:58

oh, I'm gonna stay right here.

Alicia: 00:40:59

Like I'm not gonna move, like I'm not gonna chance going anywhere else.

Fanny: 00:41:05

I love to offer a refrain on that, maybe this is not something

Fanny: 00:41:10

to put a label on, as in "I need to understand what emotions I am feeling".

Fanny: 00:41:16

This is just completing the stress cycle.

Fanny: 00:41:18

This is just you releasing the sensations through a cry.

Fanny: 00:41:23

Sometimes when you tap, you cough or you yawn or anything.

Fanny: 00:41:28

And yes, if you have stored sadness forever into your body, even if you

Fanny: 00:41:33

don't feel sad right now, at some point you need to cry and that's okay.

Fanny: 00:41:37

Sometimes it's just wanting to kick, or scream, or cry.

Fanny: 00:41:42

It can be really helpful to put a name on that emotion.

Fanny: 00:41:46

And also noticing that when you put a name on it, then you cut yourself

Fanny: 00:41:52

from the richness of what's available because, that's what I see in the

Fanny: 00:41:58

healing I have with my coachees, the true healing occurs when your

Fanny: 00:42:04

mind doesn't know what's happening.

Fanny: 00:42:06

If you're screaming and laughing and crying at the same time, that's great.

Fanny: 00:42:12

That means your mind is lost.

Fanny: 00:42:14

So when your mind is lost, there's the body who takes charge,

Fanny: 00:42:18

and that's when true healing

Alicia: 00:42:19

happens.

Alicia: 00:42:21

I love that reframe.

Alicia: 00:42:23

I love that reframe.

Alicia: 00:42:25

Yeah.

Alicia: 00:42:25

Because even in the moment I was like" I don't know.

Alicia: 00:42:29

I don't know what this is, and I'm just gonna like, let it happen because

Alicia: 00:42:32

as I'm searching and talking, there's nothing that's coming forward".

Alicia: 00:42:35

And I always say this to my clients, it's like, we always know, like, you

Alicia: 00:42:40

know, it's pretty, usually when an emotion is coming forward, like we

Alicia: 00:42:44

know what the emotion is, we know what is actually like triggering it if we

Alicia: 00:42:48

allow ourselves to remove those blocks.

Alicia: 00:42:51

And so I'm like "I don't know what this is", and I didn't, so I just let

Alicia: 00:42:55

it go, went to sleep and it was fine.

Alicia: 00:42:58

So I love that reframe of it doesn't have to have a label.

Alicia: 00:43:03

Yeah.

Alicia: 00:43:03

Okay.

Alicia: 00:43:03

Talk to us about your, you were talking about your meditations

Alicia: 00:43:07

and practices, so talk to us about that and also your coaching.

Fanny: 00:43:12

So, I love using my voice, and when they started my yoga practice,

Fanny: 00:43:17

I fell in love with meditation and I started guiding, guiding that.

Fanny: 00:43:21

I have some programs of several meditations that you can download

Fanny: 00:43:27

with, for example, bringing more fresh blood and energy to a part of you.

Fanny: 00:43:33

So I have like this library of meditations available.

Fanny: 00:43:37

I also offer the one-on-one coaching.

Fanny: 00:43:40

I have two packages at the moment.

Fanny: 00:43:43

One is from Gray to Yay, actually helping people who are wondering where it went

Fanny: 00:43:49

wrong, to have basically the thriving sex and fulfilling life they deserve.

Fanny: 00:43:55

And I also have the, the one-on-one coaching with Yoni Egg for people who

Fanny: 00:44:01

want to go with this on a deeper topic.

Fanny: 00:44:05

So for now, the one-on-one coaching is available and the library membership

Fanny: 00:44:12

is in a work in progress that will be available on the website.

Alicia: 00:44:16

Awesome.

Alicia: 00:44:17

Awesome.

Alicia: 00:44:18

I'm gonna have both of those linked down below for you guys

Alicia: 00:44:21

so you guys can check that out.

Alicia: 00:44:22

If you guys are interested in this, I think it is something

Alicia: 00:44:24

that everyone should do.

Alicia: 00:44:26

Just like I talk about acupuncture and working through our body.

Alicia: 00:44:30

Definitely something that we should all explore.

Alicia: 00:44:32

I'm also gonna link down below for you guys all the books that we talked

Alicia: 00:44:36

about because there were a few.

Alicia: 00:44:37

So I've made a few notes on the books that we were talking about: Existential

Alicia: 00:44:40

Kink, the body keeps the score.

Alicia: 00:44:43

And then also How emotions are made.

Alicia: 00:44:45

I'll link those for you guys.

Alicia: 00:44:47

Do you have any other book recommendations that I should put down for people?

Alicia: 00:44:51

Oh yeah.

Fanny: 00:44:52

You don't wanna start me on books.

Fanny: 00:44:56

I do have two other one.

Fanny: 00:44:58

Okay.

Fanny: 00:44:58

Come As you are from Emily Nagoski if you wanna start your sexual

Fanny: 00:45:02

healing, start with Come as you are.

Fanny: 00:45:04

It's amazing.

Fanny: 00:45:05

Like this woman should be decorated, like this is the book you wanna offer to any

Fanny: 00:45:12

woman around you that is important to you and that needs to hear that she's normal

Fanny: 00:45:18

and that there is nothing wrong with her.

I also love Pussy: 00:45:21

A reclamation from Mama Jenna.

I also love Pussy: 00:45:25

It's really interesting too.

I also love Pussy: 00:45:27

I also wanna acknowledge how lucky I am to not have English as my first language

I also love Pussy: 00:45:31

because I don't have any problem with using the word pussy, but yeah, so

I also love Pussy: 00:45:37

that's the major two recommendations.

I also love Pussy: 00:45:40

What is your first

Alicia: 00:45:41

language?

Alicia: 00:45:42

French?

Fanny: 00:45:43

I'm, I live in France.

Fanny: 00:45:45

We would call pussy a "chatte" literally means Lady Cat and I have no issue

Fanny: 00:45:50

about saying pussy, but "chatte" is really much more confronting.

Fanny: 00:45:55

So work to do there too.

Alicia: 00:45:59

I love that.

Alicia: 00:45:59

I love that so much.

Alicia: 00:46:01

Yeah.

Alicia: 00:46:01

It's funny how, my husband speaks Spanish, so I have no problem

Alicia: 00:46:06

using curse words in Spanish.

Alicia: 00:46:08

Like I I said something the other day to my mother-in-law not to her,

Alicia: 00:46:13

I'm sorry, let me rephrase that.

Alicia: 00:46:15

Not to her, but I hit my thumb or something like that when we were

Alicia: 00:46:19

working on the Turkey for Thanksgiving or for Christmas, I don't remember.

Alicia: 00:46:23

Anyways.

Alicia: 00:46:24

And I said something and sh I think I said like, fuck your

Alicia: 00:46:27

mother, or something like that.

Alicia: 00:46:28

But I wasn't saying it to her.

Alicia: 00:46:29

I was just saying it, it's a phrase, you know, and she's like, "oh my God".

Alicia: 00:46:34

But because it's not my first language, to me it's nothing, it's

Alicia: 00:46:37

not a really that big of a deal.

Alicia: 00:46:39

It's really funny.

Alicia: 00:46:40

Okay, let's end it out with a little rapid fire, if we shall.

Alicia: 00:46:45

How do you feel about that?

Alicia: 00:46:47

Amazing.

Alicia: 00:46:48

Okay.

Alicia: 00:46:48

Okay.

Alicia: 00:46:49

Let's do it.

Alicia: 00:46:50

Okay.

Alicia: 00:46:51

So I usually start with what is your favorite food?

Alicia: 00:46:55

Hmm.

Fanny: 00:46:57

I love pasta.

Fanny: 00:46:58

Not original.

Fanny: 00:47:00

I love pasta because they're versatile because you can do anything that

Fanny: 00:47:04

would that you want with them.

Fanny: 00:47:06

You can do something really precious and elaborated, and at the same time, if

Fanny: 00:47:11

you need comfort food, they're here too.

Alicia: 00:47:15

I love pistachios.

Alicia: 00:47:17

Ooh, me too.

Alicia: 00:47:18

Pistachio ice cream's my favorite ice cream.

Alicia: 00:47:22

Yes.

Alicia: 00:47:24

Okay.

Alicia: 00:47:24

What is your drink of choice?

Alicia: 00:47:26

Do you drink alcohol?

Fanny: 00:47:28

No, I can't.

Fanny: 00:47:29

I have a medical condition that prevents me to do so.

Fanny: 00:47:32

Okay.

Fanny: 00:47:32

But I do enjoy having like raspberry juice in a glass of champagne because

Fanny: 00:47:38

it makes me feel really classy.

Fanny: 00:47:41

And special because you're just drinking champagne and

Fanny: 00:47:43

I'm drinking something special.

Alicia: 00:47:48

Yes.

Alicia: 00:47:48

We always love to be extra.

Alicia: 00:47:50

I love that.

Alicia: 00:47:51

Okay, if you're going to the movies or you're watching a movie at home, what

Alicia: 00:47:54

is the candy that you're grabbing?

Fanny: 00:47:58

Popcorn.

Fanny: 00:47:59

But sugar one.

Alicia: 00:48:01

Mm-hmm.

Alicia: 00:48:03

Like a sweet popcorn.

Alicia: 00:48:04

Definitely.

Alicia: 00:48:05

Yes.

Alicia: 00:48:06

Yes.

Alicia: 00:48:06

That is so good.

Alicia: 00:48:07

I love like a good kettle corn or like chocolate in my popcorn.

Alicia: 00:48:10

I like, like a sweet and salty.

Alicia: 00:48:12

I like that a lot too.

Alicia: 00:48:15

And what is your coffee order?

Alicia: 00:48:17

Well, do you drink coffee?

Fanny: 00:48:19

I can't either.

Fanny: 00:48:20

I'm a hot chocolate girl.

Fanny: 00:48:21

Okay.

Fanny: 00:48:22

Okay.

Fanny: 00:48:22

So I definitely, yeah, I love hot chocolate and I love actually trying

Fanny: 00:48:29

the different flavors, like trying to look like an expert, you know?

Fanny: 00:48:34

Like I have this one more and I love this one more because X, Y, and Z.

Fanny: 00:48:38

But if there is chocolate, count me in.

Alicia: 00:48:43

You do like dark chocolate or white chocolate or milk chocolate.

Alicia: 00:48:47

What's your favorite?

Fanny: 00:48:49

Count me out of white because it's not chocolate, in my opinion.

Fanny: 00:48:53

And count me out of 99% of dark, because I can go to 75%.

Fanny: 00:49:02

But after that it's like way too bitter.

Fanny: 00:49:05

So I love, yeah, I love variety.

Alicia: 00:49:11

I love that.

Alicia: 00:49:12

Okay, let's do, what is your best purchase of this month?

Fanny: 00:49:17

I bought an airbag jacket for my horse riding practice.

Fanny: 00:49:22

Ooh.

Fanny: 00:49:23

Helps me feel really safe.

Fanny: 00:49:25

Now I can jump without the fear of falling and breaking anything important.

Fanny: 00:49:30

I am a hundred percent protected.

Alicia: 00:49:32

That's amazing.

Alicia: 00:49:33

So is it like it's an airbag jacket, so if you fall, then it kind of like deploys.

Alicia: 00:49:39

Yep, exactly.

Fanny: 00:49:40

Wow.

Fanny: 00:49:40

From, from neck to coccyx.

Alicia: 00:49:43

Wow.

Alicia: 00:49:44

Yeah.

Alicia: 00:49:44

That is very, very helpful.

Alicia: 00:49:46

Yeah.

Alicia: 00:49:46

So I love that.

Alicia: 00:49:48

What kind of mic did you get?

Fanny: 00:49:50

Blue Yeti.

Fanny: 00:49:51

Like a lot of us.

Alicia: 00:49:55

I'm gonna link the mics down below for you guys.

Alicia: 00:49:58

I know a lot of you guys are interested in doing a podcast, so I'm gonna

Alicia: 00:50:01

link that down below for you guys so you guys can see that as well.

Alicia: 00:50:03

It's the same mic that I used to.

Alicia: 00:50:05

It's a Yeti microphone and even though we had complications at the beginning of this

Alicia: 00:50:09

episode, it is actually a really good mic.

Alicia: 00:50:10

I think it's my cord that's actually giving me a little bit of trouble.

Alicia: 00:50:14

So last question is, if you were not doing this as a job, what would you be doing?

Fanny: 00:50:21

That's an interesting one.

Fanny: 00:50:23

I wish I could be a ballet dancer, but I would have to go back in time

Fanny: 00:50:28

and do several other decisions.

Fanny: 00:50:31

If I was not doing this, I think I would be an even more a teacher.

Fanny: 00:50:39

Well, that's kind of what I do because I'm a coach and a teacher at the same time.

Fanny: 00:50:43

So I'm gonna say I cannot do anything else than what I do because it's what I love.

Fanny: 00:50:48

So why would I want to do something else that's cheating.

Fanny: 00:50:53

Sorry.

Alicia: 00:50:54

It's okay.

Alicia: 00:50:54

It took me forever.

Alicia: 00:50:55

I asked that question to so many people, until someone actually asked me back on

Alicia: 00:51:01

the podcast and I had the same reaction.

Alicia: 00:51:03

I'm like, well, I can't imagine doing anything else.

Alicia: 00:51:05

I don't know what I would do.

Alicia: 00:51:07

So it took me a really long time.

Alicia: 00:51:08

It took me like a good month to figure out and be like, oh, okay,

Alicia: 00:51:12

I would probably be doing this.

Alicia: 00:51:17

Love that.

Alicia: 00:51:18

Love that.

Alicia: 00:51:18

Okay, so I'm gonna have everything linked to for Fanny down below

Alicia: 00:51:22

for you guys in the show notes.

Alicia: 00:51:23

Also on Instagram.

Alicia: 00:51:24

You guys can find her there.

Alicia: 00:51:25

She'll be on the Confident AF podcast Instagram.

Alicia: 00:51:28

As well as all the books that we listed in this episode.

Alicia: 00:51:31

As well as anything that has been listed on any other podcast is gonna be in

Alicia: 00:51:35

the Amazon storefront for you guys, so you guys can check that out as well.

Alicia: 00:51:39

So you can check out our faves, you guys can go to the Confident AF

Alicia: 00:51:42

podcast Instagram Follow Fanny as well.

Alicia: 00:51:44

I'll have her linked and she'll be on the podcast Instagram.

Alicia: 00:51:47

So thank you so much for coming on.

Alicia: 00:51:49

Thank you for sharing all your knowledge with us.

Alicia: 00:51:51

I really appreciate it and giving us your time.

Alicia: 00:51:53

Thank you.

Fanny: 00:51:54

And thank you for everyone who has tuned in in today's episode.

Fanny: 00:51:58

You're amazing.

Alicia: 00:52:00

Yes.

Alicia: 00:52:00

Thank you guys for listening.

Alicia: 00:52:01

If you guys liked this episode or found it helpful, make sure you

Alicia: 00:52:04

share it for us, please and tag us.

Alicia: 00:52:06

We'd love to see it.

Alicia: 00:52:07

And until next week, I will see you guys next week.

Alicia: 00:52:13

And that's a wrap.

Alicia: 00:52:14

Thank you for tuning in today.

Alicia: 00:52:16

I hope you liked this conversation.

Alicia: 00:52:18

I really enjoyed having it, and Alicia's amazing.

Alicia: 00:52:20

Go check her confident as fuck podcast although we did have

Alicia: 00:52:25

some mic issues, which is strange, but I am not really tech savvy.

Alicia: 00:52:29

You already know that, so I hope you'll forgive me.

Alicia: 00:52:33

If you found this episode, interesting, feel free to share it with a loved one.

Alicia: 00:52:39

if you want to support the show, feel free to subscribe to the podcast on

Alicia: 00:52:42

your favorite platform and rate it .On apple podcast, click on the star

Alicia: 00:52:47

rating and click on write a review, on Spotify, click on the star rating.

Alicia: 00:52:54

If you want to go further and explore.

Alicia: 00:52:56

I have in this show notes, the link to my ebook, it's called essence:

Alicia: 00:53:00

reconnecting to your body to awaken the pleasure to feel alive totally for free.

Alicia: 00:53:04

It comes with my regular love letters.

Alicia: 00:53:07

Thank you for tuning in today.